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It's funny, but I actually logged into this journal, the one I paid lots of money for lifetime premium access to, and I felt like I walked into an old apartment that now houses a nuclear family with the ubiquitous 2.5 children. That is, I feel strange here.

I waded through the automatic twitter feed updates and the one line posts, and discovered that I haven't really made an actual statement here in close to two years. I've gotten to the point at which I feel like I'm reinventing myself every week or so, so after two years, is it really shocking that I feel like a foreigner here? I even find it hard to extend a thought beyond one or two sentences, a seriously negative trait that I'm blaming on my reliance upon the likes of Twitter and Facebook. This needs to be remedied.

Way back when I was moving into my first real house (a life lesson in and of itself that I don't plan on forgetting anytime soon), I was told by many interesting people in the psychic/paranormal/creative scene of the importance of smudging. Smudging, for those of you still reading this and unaware, is the act of taking a bundle of sage, lighting it on fire, and waving the smoking bundle around in every corner of every room in your home in order to prepare it for your time there. The smoke is said not only to banish negative spirits and energy, but is also used to purge the home of all energy left over from the previous occupants, leaving you with a clean space, ready for your own energy and spirit. Foolishly, I put this advice to the back of my brain, and I feel that I seriously paid the price during the time I lived in the house. By the time I actually smudged the house as recommended, it was done as last-ditch effort to get rid of the hurt and pain I felt within its walls so that I could project a clean and happy image to prospective buyers of the property as I readied it for sale. You can say that you refuse to believe in that sort of voodoo all you want, but within two months, I was free of the home and ready to move on.

So, move on I did, and several months after that, I'm moving back to this old address on the internet. This blog, much like that old house, holds a lot of energy from the previous occupant, but unlike my old (new) home, the occupant is someone very familiar and yet completely different. So...the important lesson learned here is that if I'm moving back in, I'm going to have to smudge.

I'm not getting rid of the old entries entirely, but they're going to be moved somewhere appropriate. The coding is going to definitely change to reflect a better layout.

Friends list? That's a tough one. Some of you have stuck there with me and will definitely remain along for the ride. Others just flat out need to go. Still, others...

Well, simply put, there are others out there that need closure. This journal has seen some of my personal demons manifest themselves into relationships with people, for good or bad, and while I still view at least some of those relationships as salvageable, the old ghosts need a proper goodbye. So before I'm making good on the advice given by that old Girl Scout chant, I need to write some internet letters to my old demons.

Consider those letters the next few entries in this journal, and the commencement of Smudging.

I've missed you, old apartment.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 3rd, 2010 01:49 am (UTC)
Good to see you again, spanky.
Apr. 3rd, 2010 02:54 am (UTC)
It is very good to see you here again. I don't like what Facebook has done to livejournal, or really society in general. And yes I'm a big ol' hypocrite for being on there. But being a Leo who can't stand not being heard I pretty much have no choice but to go where the business is. I still like LJ better and always will. Which sort of makes me a remaining occupant in a house full of ghosts too. But look at it this way: this is our house and our ghosts and we deserve to be able to live with them in peace.
Apr. 3rd, 2010 01:58 pm (UTC)
Hey there. Ya, FB sucked me in and I rarely post here anymore. or there for that matter. But I still read and comment LJ every day. I too paid for the "lifetime" thinking I would use this forever. :)
Apr. 3rd, 2010 04:31 pm (UTC)
Even though I follow you on Twitter and FB, it'll be nice to see posts on here from you again. 140 characters can't compete with an unlimited amount of space when it comes to expressing yourself thoroughly, and I find it cathartic to be able to write endlessly about the things I need to talk about, even if it's totally boring and nobody reads it.

Funny you should mention the smudging thing with the house... the last time I babysat the kitties for you, two of my friends came over to hang out and have dinner with me one of the nights I was there. My friend Josh, who is half Chickasaw and very into pagan traditions and, I suspect, somewhat "in touch" with planes other than our own, said he got a creepy feeling from the house, particularly the second level. He actually recommended smudging the place, but I wasn't sure whether you'd take me seriously or just think I was crazy if I passed the suggestion along.
Apr. 3rd, 2010 06:16 pm (UTC)
I know the feeling. I've never been a prolific poster; but it seems that once I got the permanent account, my posting frequency plummeted. Still read everyone else's stuff though...
Apr. 4th, 2010 12:37 am (UTC)
Glad to see you back. You've been missed.
Apr. 6th, 2010 03:27 pm (UTC)
Nice to see ya!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )